Little Victories: Small Things That Help Improve Your Mood
We all have bad days. Maybe you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Maybe your orgo midterm grade came back. Maybe you found out that the Theta girl you had over last night watched a little too...
View ArticleVanderbilt Maintains Controversial “Baby Seal Clubbing” Program
NASHVILLE — In the face of a turbulent controversy that is enveloping the school, Vanderbilt University has affirmed its commitment to the football program’s divisive “Baby Seal Clubbing” program....
View ArticleSherman Ave Freshman Guide: How to Use Facebook for Newly Admitted College...
So you just got accepted into your dream college, or your “best fit school,” or your safety school, or the University of Chicago – congratulations! Now that you’ve gotten past this difficult step,...
View ArticleTo Northwestern’s Quarter System, The Crusher Of Spirit, The Bringer of Late...
It’s the end of May, and with it comes the flowers in bloom, the inconsistent sunlight of the Chicago sky, and the sound of graduation caps being thrown into the air in happy rejoice. This is a good...
View Article27 Thoughts That Go Through the Mind of a College Student on Summer Break...
1. “I wonder how many times I’ll have to scan this same file.” 2. “No, no – I didn’t come here for a learning experience, I came here to fetch your coffee and pretend to care about your stories.” 3....
View ArticleFreshman Guide: Being Undecided
Hello future Wildcat! In a just about a month, you’ll start your new life here at Northwestern University. A lot of big decisions are headed your way. Should I bring a mini-fridge? What color should...
View ArticleFreshman Attempts One-Month Hibernation Before Wildcat Welcome
WESTCHESTER, NY–Hoping to fight increasing boredom and decreasing self worth, incoming freshman Eric Johannson attempted to hibernate for one month, planning to wake up in time for Wildcat Welcome...
View ArticleTwo Students Standing Right in Front of Fucking Doorway Having Great Fucking...
At 10:58 this morning, Weinberg students Kyle Dunn and Sarah McCoy were seen right in front of the northernmost entrance to Kresge having just a fantastic fucking conversation. The pair, talking about...
View Article12 Reasons Why Going to School Somewhere Cold is Awesome
1. Never having to slather your body in the ectoplasmic goo known as sunscreen 2. When you inevitably put on Freshman 15, no one will notice 3. Not only will no one notice, but once the clothes come...
View ArticleElementary School Solves Bullying Issue by Asking “Effeminate Boys” to Stay...
Evanston’s Campbell Elementary School today announced a new policy which asks all “effeminate boys” to stay at home to avoid being bullied. The announcement comes on the heels of a North Carolina...
View ArticleLack of U.S. Inequality Forces Weinberg to Expand Distro to International...
Students campaigned for a U.S.-focused class. But Weinberg will have you learn about those other countries' inequalities instead.
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